[S3E5] The Library
Lt. Bookman: Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again.
[S3E5] The Library
Jerry learns he has a library fine from 1971, for the then-controversial book Tropic of Cancer, and that the "case" has been turned over to the library investigations officer, Lt. Bookman. George arrives at the library, and suspects that the homeless man on the steps outside is Mr. Heyman, a physical education teacher at his high school whom he reported for giving him a wedgie, which got him fired. Jerry pays Mr. Bookman, and Heyman holds the dilapidated long-lost copy of Tropic of Cancer at the alleyway. Kramer flirts with the librarian, Marion, starting a forbidden affair with her.
Jerry owes the library a book that's 20 years overdue and has to deal with Lt. Bookman (Philip Baker Hall), a library cop who takes his job very seriously. George wonders if a homeless man is his former gym teacher who used to bully him. Kramer starts a relationship with the librarian.
Tropes: Asshole Victim: A non-fatal example. Mr. Heyman, who after lost his teaching job, ends up homeless. Though considering how he treated George, it feels well-deserved, especially considering he still hasn't changed in those 20 years.
By-the-Book Cop: Lt. Bookman, who takes the rules and regulations of the library very seriously and at one point asks Jerry if he's killed anyone.
Extremely Overdue Library Book: The Tropic of Cancer, which Jerry has owed the library for 20 years.
Fake Memories: Jerry attempts to clear his good name by seeing his old high school sweetheart Sherry Becker, who he remembers to have a slimmer figure, wore an orange dress, chewed Black Jack gum, and he read to her from The Tropic of Cancer before returning it to the library on time. When he meets her, she is broader than he remembers, and she says she was wearing a purple dress, chewed Dentyne (and in fact hated Black Jack), and that Jerry was reading from The Tropic of Capricorn.
Nobody Likes a Tattletale: Kramer is not sympathetic at all to George getting Mr. Heyman fired. Kramer gives him crap over being a squealer.
Prophetic Names: The library cop is named Bookman. Lampshaded by Kramer:Kramer: Bookman? The library investigator's name is actually Bookman? That's amazing! That's like an ice cream man named Cone.
Sadist Teacher: Mr. Heyman, who loved to bully George and called him the unflattering "Can't-Stand-Ya".
Wedgie: Mr. Heyman, who gives George one in high school and in present day, give him an atomic wedgie, which breaks off the waistband of his underwear.
Wham Shot: The copy of The Tropic of Cancer that Jerry owes the library is among Mr. Heyman's possessions.
George: So I said, "Mr. Hayman, It's me george Costanza, JFK, ... " He doesn't move. So I said uh, "Can't stand ya'", "Can't stand ya'" He turns and smiles, the little baked bean teeth. I get up to run away, but something was holding me back. It was Heyman. He had my underwear. There I was on the steps of the 42nd St. library ,a grown man, getting a wedgie.Elaine: At least it wasn't atomic.George: It was.
Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't he deserve better?
It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everbody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend.
In a flashback, we learn that Sam researched Bloodstone in the local library. He learned there was a shocking loss of life in the mines, and lingering questions about the fate of the miners' wives and children.
At school, the gang sends Cordelia to tell Buffy that yearbook photos are being taken that day. Buffy is in the library training with Faith, who is expressing her views on guys. Buffy decides to go to the prom with Faith, since she has already bought a ticket. Cordelia gets distracted at the library door by two guys whose votes for homecoming queen she wants. She leaves without giving Buffy the message.
Xander and Willow, trying on their formal clothes in her room, admire each other's elegance. They then share a kiss, but break apart in guilt for cheating on Cordelia and Oz. The next day, Buffy is analyzing the Homecoming Queen competition with Oz, Xander, and Willow in the library. They all look very uncomfortable. It turns out that Xander is helping Cordelia, since he is her boyfriend, Willow is already constructing Cordelia's database, and Oz goes along with Willow.
Meanwhile, Trick is dragged away from the mansion by two policemen. Buffy and Cordelia make their way to the library, only to find Giles knocked out and the Gorchs waiting for them. During the fight, Candy is dusted thanks to a spatula that Cordelia acquired. Lyle is infuriated and is ready to kill the two, but Cordelia finally does something good with her taunting skills and scares Lyle away when Buffy and Giles are down, by exaggerating her bad-assery. Buffy realizes the corsages they got in the limo were electronic tracking devices. She puts a device on one of the German brothers, who, when fired upon by his brother, fires back, both killing each other. 041b061a72